Friday, September 2, 2016

Lost in Translation

When I told my Grandma that I was moving to the US, the first thing she said was: 
"You'll have the opportunity to learn English."

English being my second language since the early age of 4, I couldn't help but laugh.
Less than a week in US territory, I am laughing no more. 

I've become a human Wikipedia, having to explain what my British English words pronounced in a broken Irish accent are failing to express.


     · The place where your clothes go is not a wardrobe, but a closet.
     · You ask for the restrooms when you want to go to the toilet.
     · The elevator lifts you up building floors.
     · Fall is the new autumn.
     · Supermarkets don't have trolleys, but carts.
     · Rubbish is put in trash cans.
     · If you have a sweet tooth, you would want some candy.
     · When you want take away from restaurants you order take-out.
     · City center signs read downtown.
     · ...

And don't get me started on the spelling: replacing 's' with 'z' or erasing 'u' in words like flavour and colour.

Or the metric system. My head is currently a molotov cocktail of inches, Fahrenheit, pounds, feet...


Indeed Grandma, indeed, I will be learning English.